Why are some people always late?

SLR

Apr 3, 2023
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I read this article knowing it would be baloney and it was. Always being late is a form of passive aggression. Imagine being a child of ten waiting to be picked up at 5 pm after swimming lessons. Now it's six, then seven... Finally at 9 pm the YMCA is going to close and you still haven't been picked up. Can't reach home by phone because the phone is busy. Imagine your dentist telling you you can't be a patient anymore because they have waited too many times after closing hours for you to be picked up. And I had a babysitting client who was even worse. A minimum of two hours late every time. Being late is a form of passive aggression. These people enjoy making other people squirm in anger.
 
Apr 4, 2023
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Neurotypicals assume the worst when you're often late, because it's not hard for them, but we're not all cookie cutters of each other. I was often late in my 20s, not knowing I had ADHD. I would stress so much and hate myself that I couldn't quite seem to do something so basic to most people. People say you don't care but I, for one, cared too much. This one woman at work was always so nasty that I got so scared of being late, I'd end up freezing, staring at the clock willing my body to unlock so that I could leave. And I'd be late because my fear of her judgementalness was so overwhelming I actually couldn't move!! It was awful.

The people like her, who have no compassion for people like me make it worse. We know you're judging us. We know you hate us. We know you think we're doing it specifically and on purpose. I wasn't. My brain simply lied to me about how much time things take. It's ok that you don't understand that.

I'm rarely late anymore or at least not like I was, I am not sure. My fix? Start getting ready 2-3 hours earlier, and I set timers every 20 minutes. Difficult to do. I obviously care about being on time, a lot, and always have. What sucks is when I'm still late sometimes even though I've been trying to get out the door for hours. Luckily it's rare now, and I'm able to say I accidentally slept thru my alarm. I'd be embarrassed for someone to know it takes me that long of a time with concentrated effort and I might still be late.
 
Apr 4, 2023
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Lol.

I don't know about the passive-aggressive "diagnosis", but I had a sister who was both the star of all the school plays/musicals and the beautiful blonde homecoming queen -- and she was always late at least 10-15 minutes. People were always waiting on her, rather than the other way around.

When she was given the responsibility of driving both her and my other sister to school in the morning it got so bad the latter was driven to tears for always also being made late.

I once went to visit for the holidays and she was two hours late picking me up at the airport. The excuse was that she had combined a bunch of other errands with getting me, but it was really that she just wasn't very considerate of others, or had learned early on that she didn't have to be, on account of her looks and talent.
 

suq

Apr 4, 2023
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I read this article knowing it would be baloney and it was. Always being late is a form of passive aggression. Imagine being a child of ten waiting to be picked up at 5 pm after swimming lessons. Now it's six, then seven... Finally at 9 pm the YMCA is going to close and you still haven't been picked up. Can't reach home by phone because the phone is busy. Imagine your dentist telling you you can't be a patient anymore because they have waited too many times after closing hours for you to be picked up. And I had a babysitting client who was even worse. A minimum of two hours late every time. Being late is a form of passive aggression. These people enjoy making other people squirm in anger.

Your response shows your ignorance and lack of empathy. While it is statistically relevant that a minute percentage of people may just be passive aggressive, to diminish and overstate all people with time blindness are this way, is grossly inaccurate and childish. I'm sure you have more education and experience than everyone cited in the article (this is sarcasm). Time blindness is a real phenomenon. Of course, it is not an excuse for hurting others, it is simply an explanation.
 
Apr 15, 2023
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Everyone is late sometimes. My experience is that people who are always late view themselves very highly and thus view their time as more important than yours. This has to be the case for this to keep happening.

In short, they are selfish. They respond with demeaning insults, like lighten up, indicating that the person who was there at the agree time is uptight. In my experience is that when you plan for their tardiness and start showing up after them, these people are angry. This sis because they value them selves more highly. Some relationships are worth it most are not. You will notice their selfishness in other aspects as well.