UFOs left 'radiation burns' and 'unaccounted for pregnancies,' new Pentagon report claims

One can't make this stuff up ...... Oh wait! The Pentagon just did. "Unaccounted "for pregnancies? Really? And one supposed parent is an extraterrestrial? How's that work across species? More likely, a Whoops on a hot date ..... followed by imaginative finger pointing that avoids a paternity suit or a shotgun wedding. ..... "Really Judge that UFO Alien pointed his ray gun at me and said go to it man or I'll fry you". OK what about the radiation? Sloppy handling of hospital waste or construction radionuclide tools? Not enough suntan lotion? The real impact is that my tax dollars have paid in part for this salacious, dubious report.
 
I can only hope that some fine day what passes for governmental bureaucratic speak is actually supported by independent verifiable reality. N.B.: In the 60's and 70's, the U.S. government experimented with laser and microwave information transmission. One result was wire screens being placed over exterior windows at overseas U.S. embassies to prevent personnel injuries from adversaries doing the same tests. And how about spoofing via aircraft landing lights and mobile searchlights? Likewise, there were tests of high resolution photography via aircraft at altitude. One favorite test was locating a car, discreetly parked on a side road, and try to photograph through the rear window just in case any thing "interesting" was happening. "What was that flash Charlie?" This UFO story is both saddening because actual innocent, non involved people were injured/effected, and maddening for its hearsay, contorted, ribald content.