Divine poop (and proof)

In a nasty, weird looking forest, in a country where even most of the natives didn't want to remain, following a urgent and most demanding two-step, the emergency use of a broad leaf within easy reach produced later results that resulted in guffaws, medical photographs and an itch which is remembered with a shudder to this day. ....... Leave the natural to others who so dare...... be prepared; bring paper.
 
Actually, it's embarrassed and distressed at that pressing moment in reality, which while followed by a sense of relief gives way to both stupidity and chagrin, during and after treatment , especially afterwards when one acquires a "nom de guerre" remembered/used readily by associates, and especially a cute RN who more than fully complimented her uniform ,and broke out into a wry smile whenever. Yep! Mother Nature is a demanding teacher; you gotta know or else.
 
What if there aren't any leaves? Or, only poison ivy? Soil, sand or water can clean the bum too. One can wipe with sand or soil.....or water. Sand can clean all kinds of stuff.

And with the way things are going, in the future, it will probably be a rinse and a dry for all. Dry air duct toilet seats. Cool dry air will make you pucker.
 
May 28, 2022
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What if there aren't any leaves? Or, only poison ivy? Soil, sand or water can clean the bum too. One can wipe with sand or soil.....or water. Sand can clean all kinds of stuff.

And with the way things are going, in the future, it will probably be a rinse and a dry for all. Dry air duct toilet seats. Cool dry air will make you pucker.
Smearing feces over the perineum is a filthy Anglo habit Other cultures wash with water. Its simple to connect a tap with hose to the pan's feed pipe. Then jet your anus clean. Reserve a towel for drying exdusivly. A few dollars for a non-soiled bum for ever.
 
"Smearing feces over the perineum is a filthy Anglo habit". I'm an Anglo, but not aware of this habit. Perhaps you mis-understood. Or not properly trained. We must have gone to different schools. I was taught that most on this planet use their fingers.

But I never believed it, til I did a job on a migrant farm. It was like a compound, this was in the mid 70s....in the everglades. I had asked the foreman where the rest rooms were, and after a lot of foreign language yelling, a boy came running to me with a roll of toilet paper. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I took the paper and went into the latrine. In the latrine, beside every toilet, the was a small tin can, like a soup can, with brown water in it. I had no idea what it was for. There was no toilet paper in the latrine. And no paper towels. Or any towels.

Back in the city, I asked my boss, what was that all about. That can was used, to rinse your finger off. I couldn't believe it. I was told most Chinese, India and mid-east people do the same. Always use your left hand, I was told.

No thanks, I'll stay with paper. And my filthy Anglo habits. And I quit shaking hands with foreigners.